Robert A. Heinlein
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
MICHAEL McINTYRE
[Talking about sending Valentine Cards] Just last week I wrote, "I still love you. See last year's card for details".
JOHN LENNON
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."
George Carlin
“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
elizabeth Peters
“No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.”
Neil Gaiman
“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.”
Cher
“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.”
Richard Bunning
"If I understood women it would be too late."
Conan O'Brien
“A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.”
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.”
jarod Kintz
“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
patricia Briggs
“Women are the bloodthirsty sex," said Ric sadly. "We get the reputation, but it is only because the women stand behind us, and say, 'Kill it. Squish it.”
P. G. Wodehouse
“At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”
Sigmund Freud
“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is: What does a woman want?”
arthur conan Doyle
“Women are naturally secretive, and they like to do their own secreting.”
BRANDON Sanderson
“Mocking a woman is like drinking too much wine. It may be fun for a short time, but the hangover is hell.”
FReddie Mercury
“Modern paintings are like women, you'll never enjoy them if you try to understand them.”
Roseanne Barr
“Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.”
Larissa Ione
“Let a woman too close, and while she sucked .... ...." "she sucked your brains and manhood right out of you, too.”
Richard Bunning
There are two things that Man can never truly comprehend, God and the mighty minds of Wo.
groucho marx
“Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)”
Criss Jami
“I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.”
james joyce
“She respected her husband in the same way as she respected the General Post Office, as something large, secure and fixed: and though she knew the small number of his talents she appreciated his abstract value as a male.”
Nick Hornby
“Women who disapprove of men - and there's plenty to disapprove of - should remember how we started out, and how far we had to travel.”
Valerie Frankel
“Women get into a relationship hoping a man will change, and he never does; men get into a relationship hoping the woman don't change, but she always does. Men want their partners to be consistent. That they won't make impromptu impossible demands nor baffle him with classically female sudden-onset hysterical behavior.”
Nelson Demille
“Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.”
albert einstein
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
Terry Pratchett
“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”
woody allen
“Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.”
Neal Stephenson
“She's a woman, you're a dude. You're not supposed to understand her. That's not what she's after.... She doesn't want you to understand her. She knows that's impossible. She just wants you to understand yourself. Everything else is negotiable.”
Will Rogers
“There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”
Lemony Snicket
“The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.”
Richard Bunning
"Misogamy, (the fear of marriage), is a default position, which if left unmolested by unnatural social laws is melted by philogyny (the love for women). However, if the heat of passion isn't allowed to occasionally melt then that other miso, the disease of misogyny (the hatred of women), threatens. There is deep irony here, a continuous social flaw. Because women need strong social rules to protect them from both the philogynist and the misogynist. Traditionally these rules are religiously guarded by those that masturbate betwixt or between."
benson bruno
“Nowadays, all a man can do to be original is to cite the earliest known quote on that subject. Women, though, have no problem being original. In fact, women are always being original. I constantly have to tell my wife to stop talking so much nonsense.”
Helen Roland
“And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.”
Miguel de Cervantes saaveda
“What man can pretend to know the riddle of a woman's mind?”
RIchard Bunning
"Women have said some wonderful words to me, but mostly in the wrong order."